


Once More With Lots of Feelings

by spuffyswan



Category: Captain Swan - Fandom, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love Triangles, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyswan/pseuds/spuffyswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after Hook says "As You Wish" at the end of Good Form, 3.05. Emma's still on a quest to find Henry, but she runs into Neal. Hook happens upon their meeting. Now they all have to make nice and find Henry together. WARNING: there is Swanfire in this story, but ultimately, Captain Swan will be end game. Rated -M- for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. EMMA'S PERSPECTIVE

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of its characters. 
> 
> The following story will have some Swanfire. It takes place after Hook says "As you wish" at the end of Good Form, episode 3.05. The first two chapters will be short, since they are Emma's and Hook's perspective. 
> 
> This is my first published story, so reviews are appreciated.

Chapter 1: EMMA'S PERSPECTIVE POST-KISS

Emma floated towards the campground, not feeling her feet touch the ground as she made her way towards the others, her mind reeling from the warm, soft lips that had passionately made contact with her own just moments before. She raised her fingers to touch her swollen mouth and smiled to herself.

'As you wish.' She knew he had no context of knowing the implications of what he said to her. Scenes of The Princess Bride replayed through her mind as she compared the recent events to the movie she loved growing up. She didn't want to overanalyze his words, but she couldn't help but feel a flutter in her stomach at the thought of what he could have meant by them. She shook her head and chuckled to herself. 'What am I thinking? This is ridiculous. Hook? Hook being in love with me?' She discounted the idea and decided to cast the thoughts aside until she could at least feel her limbs.

She continued down the path slowly, not really feeling the urge to get back to camp quickly, when she heard rustling in the foliage behind her.

She stopped in her tracks and put a hand on her hip, trying to sound as annoyed as possible, even though the butterflies and excitement in her stomach suggested otherwise. "I thought I told you to wait five minutes." She said as she turned around to face her stalker, one eyebrow raised.

"Hello Emma."

Emma froze when she saw him, gravity pulling her down to earth unforgivably, filling her limbs with lead. She blinked slowly, seeing if doing so would make the apparition standing before her disappear.

"Neal." She replied breathlessly. "Is it…are you…" She lifted one lead-filled leg and inched closer to him, the emotions lodged in her throat, rendering her speechless and nearly immovable.

Neal didn't speak. Instead, he met her within three strides and swiftly pulled her into a hug, one hand cradling her head while the other squeezed her shoulders. But Emma froze, her hands shaking at her sides. She couldn't sift through all of the feelings welling up inside of her. Everything was happening too fast.

"Yes Emma, it's me. I'm here. I'm not dead… I'm not dead." He whispered. She felt the walls start to crumble against her will, and cautiously wrapped her arms around his middle.

"It's okay, Emma. It's okay." Neal said as he stroked her hair. The dammed emotions lodged in her throat suddenly erupted into uncontrollable sobs. She laid her head onto his shoulder, clinging to his shirt desperately, and let every pent up emotion she had tried to drown surface through her tears.

"Shhh, it's okay, Emma. I'm here now. Everything is going to be okay." Neal comforted again, tears of relief escaping his own eyes as he rocked her back and forth, swaying where they stood. They stayed like this for what seemed like ages, until Emma's rational thought came back through her clouded brain, quickly repairing the crumbled walls.

"Neal." Emma sniffled, stepping back from his grasp to read his face and wipe her eyes. She needed to know if this was really him, or some trick that Neverland had conjured up. "Can you tell me what happened? How…how are you even here? You were shot. You fell into that portal. How do I know it's really you?"

Neal reached his hand up and cupped her cheek, wiping another tear away from her face with his thumb. "Because I meant what I said right before I let go of your hand, Emma. I love you. I never stopped loving you."

Neal closed the gap between them and kissed Emma gently, rendering her motionless a second time. Doubt still clouded her mind as she second-guessed the reality of the situation. She tried to reason with herself, but her thoughts, and the kiss, were interrupted by the sudden clattering noise that came from behind Neal. They both turned to observe the source of the disturbance.

Hook stared back at them, unmoving, with a pile of wood scattered at his feet.


	2. HOOK'S PERSPECTIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hook's perspective as Emma walks away after their kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: In the previous chapter, I'm not sure if I made it clear that Emma was NOT kissing Neal back. She stood their motionless, unsure of how to proceed with what Neal was doing. Just wanted to clarify.
> 
> Enjoy Hook's perspective! Many more chapters to come.

Chapter 2: Hook's Perspective Post-Kiss

Hook touched his lips pensively as he watched Emma disappear down the trail back to camp, his rapidly beating heart threatening to explode from his chest as he fought to think coherently. Ever since he had known her, there was always a spark; a connection that even the most evil queen found noticeable. But this...what had just happened, was an entirely different monster. Kissing her had turned that spark into a roaring bonfire in its wake, leaving him shaken to the core. He hadn't felt like this since-

Milah. The memory of her still sent a pang through his chest, and yet, he had realized in the last few weeks that the sharp pain it used to evoke was now just a dull ache comparatively. He lightly brushed the surface of her name over the confines of his jacket with his fingertips. No, he wasn't feeling a sharp pain anymore...he was feeling guilt.

When Milah died, it created a giant chasm in his heart that seemed impossible to fill with anything but vengeance, and even then it was only temporary satiation; something to get him out bed in the morning and through to the next day. Without Milah, his soul felt incomplete, his life empty with no direction or meaning. Every day he would wake up and, just for a moment, think she was still alive, lying next to him in bed, only to have reality stab him in the heart a thousand times over again. The loneliness and sorrow summoned a black hole in his heart, taking with it everything good about Killian and trapping him in its center with no hope of emergence. In Killian's stead emerged Captain Hook, the drunken pirate that would spend the next 300 years avenging her death.

And now...and now Milah was becoming a distant memory, someone he would always love, memories he would always cherish, but someone he knew he needed to put to rest if his quest for vengeance was ever going to come to an end. He had something new to fight for.

He pulled out Milah's picture from his coat pocket and unfolded it to gaze upon her face one last time. After memorizing her every detail, like so many times before, he set the picture on a rock nearby and scratched his hook on the rock's surface until a spark lit the picture on fire.

He pulled out his flask and raised it towards the flames. "Here's to you, Milah, my love. May you rest in peace. And I promise... I shall do the same." He brought the rum to his lips and drank to her memory, watching the picture burn down to just an ember, surprised that the only emotion he felt as he watched the fire was one of relief and closure. The chapter in his life that he had spent 300 years battling had finally come to an end. And it was long overdue.

Now something new was happening to him. He was changing; being the man he knew deep down inside that he had always been. All because of a kiss. A "one-time" kiss.

"We'll see about that, Swan." He muttered under his breath as he turned the corner of his mouth up into a smile.

One thing he knew for certain: Emma had awoken Killian and allowed hope and light entrance into his heart again.

As he had promised, he walked the jungle to gather firewood and couldn't help the boyish grin that plastered itself across his face. As he absentmindedly picked up twigs from the ground and broke off dead branches from the trees, he thought about Emma and all the ways he could lure her into another passionate rendezvous once they saved Henry: dinner alone under the stars with some wine and a blanket, where he could share his knowledge of the constellations. But was she the "romantic dinner" type? Perhaps something more adventurous would suit her better. Maybe a romantic dinner after climbing up a cliff or battling a throng of ogres.

He laughed to himself and shook his head as he tore another dead branch from a tree. The thought of wooing Emma by having her battle ogres was highly amusing to him, but entirely plausible. She seemed to be at her best and most comfortable when surrounded by chaos.

When his arms reached full capacity, he started down the same path Emma had ventured just moments before, feeling both excited and nervous about seeing the change in her demeanor towards him now that they had shared something so undeniably powerful together. He knew the moment he'd see her face he'd be able to determine what her true feelings were. Though, the way she grabbed his head and pulled him in by his jacket to meet his lips seemed to confirm what he already believed to be true: she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

He continued down the trail with a little hop in his step, humming a tune from his days manning the Jolly Roger, but silenced himself when he heard what sounded like Emma's voice ahead. 'Maybe she's waiting for round 2', he thought to himself, smiling, as he all but ran to bridge the gap between him and Emma's voice.

He finally arrived at the clearing, but was not expecting the display before him. The sight knocked the breath from his lungs and stabbed his heart with a thousand tiny slivers, rendering his limbs weak and numb.

Emma was there for round 2 alright, only...

It wasn't with him.

The bundle of wood in his arms suddenly felt burdensome and dropped to the ground.


	3. UNCONSCIOUS

CHAPTER 3: UNCONSCIOUS

Neal ran towards Hook, pulling out his sword in the process. Emma followed close behind.

"Neal, stop!" she pleaded as she grabbed his sword-wielding arm.

"What are you doing here, Hook?!" Neal asked forcefully, ripping his arm from Emma's grasp and pointing his sword towards Hook's throat.

"Ah, so Baelfire, is it? Fancy seeing you alive." Hook said as he backed his head away from the blade, putting his hook and hand up in surrender. "As for what I'm doing here…" he turned his gaze towards Emma and looked at her reprovingly. "…I'm starting to ask myself that same question."

Emma avoided his gaze and walked in front of him, grabbing Neal's sword to lower it. "Neal, he's helping us find Henry. So I need you to—"

"Let go of my sword and step out of the way, Emma! This man doesn't help anyone but himself." Neal glared at Hook. "What are you doing here, Hook? I mean what are you really doing here? Are you working for Pan? Did he make a deal with you? Did you make a deal with him?" Neal asked.

But Hook said nothing.

"Neal, for God's sake, would you just calm down? Hook saved us. He saved my father. He's one of us! So please, just put your sword away and back down." Emma implored, stepping closer to Neal to put more distance between the sword and Hook.

"He may have done all of those things, Emma. But he's still a pirate. And he still killed my mother and destroyed my father's life." Neal said as he sheathed his sword begrudgingly.

Emma turned around and looked questioningly at Hook. "Is it true? Did you kill his mother?"

"Bloody hell, I did NOT kill your mother, Bae, OR destroy your father's life. Your father went all dark and broody and scaly on his own accord and killed your mother right in front of me. ALL him, NOT me."

"But if you wouldn't have taken her—"

"Yeah yeah, I've heard this song and dance from you before. If your mother hadn't fallen in love with me and left, your parents would still be together, and your dad wouldn't have felt he needed to prove himself to you by becoming a golden, sparkling blight on society. Yes, I've heard it. And yes, I've thought about it every day since the lost boys took you." Hook stepped towards Neal and put a hand on his shoulder. "But Bae, it's been 300 years. Get the bloody hell over it."

Neal threw up his fist trying to punch Hook in the face. But Hook, expecting this reaction, easily dodged his advances by ducking.

Emma wasn't as lucky. Neal's fist connected with the side of her head, knocking her unconscious.

"Emma!" Hook and Neal cried, both trying to catch her as she slumped towards the ground. But Hook's position gave him the best vantage point, allowing him to catch Emma as they both settled gently to the earth. He cradled Emma's body across his lap, supporting her head as he assessed the severity of her injury, while Neal knelt beside them and grabbed Emma's hand.

Neal's show of affection made Hook hug Emma closer to his chest protectively, "I've got her, mate. You've done enough already, now give her some breathing room."

Neal backed away and stood up, placing both hands together in front of his face as if saying a prayer, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Hook returned to his assessments and could see she was still breathing from the slow but steady rise and fall of her chest. "Emma!" Hook shouted as he tapped her cheek with his hand, trying to arouse some kind of response from her. "Emma, love, wake up."

She didn't move.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." Neal swore, running his fingers through his hair while pacing nervously. "I didn't mean to…it was meant for you! If you hadn't ducked—"

"Oh bloody hell, here we go again; you not putting the blame on the responsible party, as if we're all victims of our own emotion and it's NEVER our fault. Tell me, Bae, or Neal, or whatever the hell you're called these days, have you ever owned up to anything in your entire life, or do you just go around kicking puppies and claiming they had it coming?"

Neal shot Hook an icy glare which Hook returned in kind before returning his attentions to Emma. His voice took on a more comforting tone, "You can calm down, mate. She's breathing fine; her pulse is steady…though she's formed a sizable lump on the side of her head, no thanks to you. But it's not a mortal injury. She's going to be fine. The only thing we can do now is wait for her to wake up."

"Are you sure? How do you know?" Neal asked as he sat back down next to Emma's comatose form.

"I've seen loads worse in my time. Trust me. If she can take a blow to the head from a crank on my ship, she can sure as hell take a punch from you."

"Fuck off."

"Right back at ya, mate."

Hook adjusted himself a bit more comfortably to accommodate both him and Emma for the long haul. As he gazed at her face, he tenderly tucked a blonde lock of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of place, his thumb and forefinger lingering on the strand, caressing its silky surface.

Neal caught this tiny act of adulation and knelt beside Emma's body, gesturing to Hook, "Here, you can give her to me. This was my fault; I should be the one to make it better."

Hook rolled his eyes, "Bugger off, mate. She's fine where she's at."

"Just give her to me. I don't trust—"

"Mmmmm…" Emma groaned, causing both Neal and Hook to fix their attention to her. She slowly blinked her eyes open. "Wh…what happened?" She asked as she brought her hand to the lump on her head.

"You—"

"You were accidentally hit in the crossfire of mine and Hook's fight." Neal said quickly, interrupting Hook before he could get a word in edgewise.

Hook rolled his eyes. "How are you feeling, love? How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked as he help up three digits.

Emma blinked slowly with her brows furrowed, "I want to say six, but since I know you only have one hand-" she said as she struggled to sit up. "—my powers of deduction would say I was wrong."

"Well, you're right in that estimation, at least." Hook said as he and Neal helped her into a sitting position.

Emma waved her hand to shoo them away, while she clutched her head with the other, "You guys, I've got this. I'm fine. Just a little dizzy is all. How long was I out?"

"Just a few minutes, not very long." Neal said as he stood up and offered his hand to Emma.

"That's good, I guess." she said, grabbing Neal's hand as leverage while looking around the clearing. "I'm actually surprised no one's come looking for me. We should probably head back to camp quickly. We'll need to regroup so we have an escape plan once we save Henry." As soon as she gained her footing, she tried taking a step forward, but stumbled the moment she lifted her leg. Neal and Hook both grabbed one of her arms to assist her.

"Still want to do this on your own, lass?" Hook asked as he held onto her left arm.

Emma gave him an exasperated look, "….fine. But let's hurry; I don't want Henry to wait any longer. We've already wasted enough time." She grabbed onto Hook with her left arm and Neal with her right as they walked down the path towards the campground.


	4. THE PLAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So, I realized when re-watching Good Form that their campground is really close to where Hook and Emma kissed. So for the sake of this story, it is AU after all, we're going to say the campground was about half a mile away. Okay? Okay.
> 
> Also, there are some moments that have happened in the last few weeks that I'm going to have a hard time topping, so I've incorporated them into the story, just…differently. Enjoy!

The journey to the campground was made in almost complete silence, save for the obstinate Swan who wanted to venture on her own without the help of two overeager men. After about five minutes of their support, Emma finally convinced them she was able to walk on her own, and did so hastily without looking back. When she saw the flicker of a fire through the trees she started to run towards it, eager to let Snow and Charming know that Neal was alive before they saw him. As she entered the clearing, Snow and Charming had their weapons drawn while Regina conjured up a fireball in her hand.

"Oh there you are, honey." Snow said as she sheathed her arrow. "We were getting worried about you. Where's Hook?"

"There's something I need to tell you first. Neal…he's—"

"Standing right there." Snow said as they all turned their heads to follow her gaze.

"Hello everyone." Neal said, breathing rapidly, followed closely by Hook. "Sorry, we saw you running, Emma, so we figured we should probably run too."

"Uh, it's fine. I just wanted to warn everyone, you know, before—never mind. It doesn't matter now." Emma put her hands in her back pockets and turned back to her parents. "So, you've all met Neal. He's not dead, apparently, and in Neverland." She said matter-of-factly, analyzing her parents' reactions.

Snow realized she was staring at Neal and quickly shook her head out of her daze, walking towards him with open arms. "Neal! Welcome back! We are so glad to see you're okay." she said as she gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Mary Margaret." Neal said as he returned the hug, patting her on the back.

Following Snow's lead, Charming shook Neal's hand and pulled him into a brief hug.

"It's good to have you back." Charming said as he released his grip.

"It's good to be back with you guys. Wish I could say the same thing about Neverland." Neal said as he directed his eyes towards their surroundings.

"Oh for god's sake! If you're not kissing, you're hugging and talking about feelings. You guys are making me positively nauseous." Regina patronized as they all stared back at her in surprise. "My SON is out there, and you guys are just walking around like a bunch of lovesick puppies, un-phased by the fact that every moment he's with that demon is another moment he's being brainwashed."

"Regina—" Emma started.

"No! Don't you 'Regina' me! You were out there with Hook, doing god knows what, for at least an hour! I'm starting to think you're more worried about your love life than you are about our son."

"Love life?! We ran into Neal and things got…" Emma's eyes flitted from Hook over to Neal. "…complicated. But I assure you, there is no one here that wants to find Henry more than I—more than WE do."

"Then how about you start acting like it. As of now, we need an exit strategy so we can save Henry and get off this godforsaken island." Regina stomped towards a rock near the campfire and sat down in a huff. The others followed suit.

Charming and Snow resumed their place on a log near the campfire right across from Regina, while Emma sat down cross-legged on the ground to the right of her parents. Neal took Emma's lead and sat down next to her. Hook was still standing next to the path they emerged from, eyeing Neal and Emma for a moment before walking to the side of the campfire opposite of them.

"Regina, would you do the honors and cast your cloaking spell so we can't be heard?" asked Charming.

"What, do you think I'm an idiot? It's already been done." Regina said as everyone rolled their eyes and ignored her vitriol.

"Neal, we found your star map in a cave. Now, the question is, do you still know how to read it?" Hook asked.

"Star map? What star map?" Neal asked in confusion.

"The coconut with the—the holes in the top." Emma replied, motioning with her hands.

"Oh that? That's not a star map." Neal laughed.

"Then…what is it?"

"It's for Pan's shadow."

Everyone exchanged glances then stared at Neal intently, waiting for him to explain further.

"Pan's shadow is our ticket out of here." Neal explained. "It's attracted to light. So we'll have to light the candle and catch when it gets close. I can navigate the stars without needing the map, but we need Pan's shadow to fly."

"And you're going to capture it with a coconut? Are you daft?" Hook asked derisively.

"This coming from a guy who flew his ship to Neverland."

"Fair enough."

"It sounds dangerous. Why can't Regina just use her magic and make us fly?" Snow asked as she looked to Regina.

Regina snorted. "I understand you have no concept of how magic works, but trying to focus my attention on everyone for long periods of time is a really, really bad idea. The second I'm distracted is the second one of you falls to your death…which I'm not necessarily opposed to, but I'm sure that's not the way you want to go."

"A simple no would have sufficed." Snow replied wryly.

"Fine. No."

"So how do we find Pan's shadow?" Emma asked.

Neal and Hook exchanged troubled glances.

"Are you sure we want to go there, mate?"

"It's the only way."

"You guys…where are we going?" Emma asked.

"It's a place called Dark Hollow." Neal replied.

"It's the darkest place on the island. Even I managed to avoid it when I was here." Hook answered.

"Okay. So we go to Dark Hollow and hunt for shadows." Emma said. "We should also let Tinkerbell know we have an escape plan. The sooner we let her know, the better I'll feel about her helping us. I keep getting this feeling like Pan is going to get to her if we don't act quickly…"

"David and I will go." Snow offered. "Regina, you're welcome to come with us if you'd like."

Regina said nothing, just stared into the flames as the others spoke.

"One thing." Neal added. "I suggest we wait until morning to go to dark hollow. Pan's shadow is more powerful at night, and the last thing we need is for it to have full strength while trying to capture it."

"Wait? MORE waiting?!" Regina exploded. "I've had enough of this insanity. Pan's shadow?! Really?! This is such a waste of my time. I don't NEED you to save my son. I'm going to do it ON MY OWN."

And with that, she stormed off into the jungle.

"Regina! Wait!" Emma yelled as she ran towards her.

Regina pushed her back with magic. "DO NOT FOLLOW ME." She said as Emma stumbled backward.

Emma stared on as she watched Regina disappear into the night, a sense of dread swelling in her stomach.

"Emma."

She turned around to meet Hook's gaze.

His voice lowered. "We're going to be fine. You have two veterans of the island at your disposal and your parents who are not going to leave you. Don't worry. We will succeed, with or without Regina. I promise."

"You really think so?"

"I do."

Emma half smiled and reached up to squeeze Hook's arm briefly as a thank you. As they exchanged knowing glances, she walked past him and turned to the others. "Well, it looks like we wait this one out. It's probably best to get some rest anyway; we'll need to need our strength if we're going to defeat Pan." She looked at the others for validation as they nodded their heads in agreement.


	5. EASY SILENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of your reading my story, thank you! Sorry about the wait on this chapter, it's been a crazy holiday season and I wanted to ensure the Hook/Emma dynamic in this chapter was perfect. Enjoy!

Emma unrolled her mat but knew sleep would be out of reach. Regardless, she felt relieved that everyone had agreed to rest so she could get a few much needed moments to herself. The cluster of emotions running through her mind threatened to smother every sensible thought, rendering her useless to any form of logic or rationale. She knew if she was going to best Peter Pan and save her son, her mind needed to be in peak condition with no distractions. Being punched in the head hadn’t helped matters either. 

She tucked herself under the covers and turned her back to everyone in an effort to shut them out, being careful not to put pressure on the sizeable lump that had formed near her temple. As soon as she closed her eyes, she heard footsteps approaching, causing her heart to beat like a wild stallion in her chest and her stomach to churn with nervous fluttering. 

“Emma.” She heard the familiar voice whisper behind her. She breathed a belabored sigh and looked over her shoulder. “Yes, Neal?”

Neal sat down on his haunches and looked at the ground nervously. “I know we’re supposed to be resting and all, I just, uh, I don’t have and bedding. So I was wondering—would you want to, ya know—“

“Take this.” Charming came up from behind Neal and thrust a rolled up blanket into his chest, causing him to fall backwards. “There’s a nice, open spot right over there.” Charming said enthusiastically as he pointed towards a large tree across the campfire.

“Uh, thanks.” Neal said, darting his eyes uncertainly back and forth from Charming to Emma. Emma turned her whole body to face him with a weak, half smile. “Sleep well, Neal.” She said as he stood up and retreated to the suggested spot.

Emma smiled gratefully at her father which he returned in kind, slightly nodding his head in an unspoken acknowledgment as he returned to the bed him and Snow shared. 

Emma propped herself up with her elbow, rested her head in her hand and watched her father and mother interact as they got ready for the night. Charming and Snow, her mom and dad, truly loved one another. It was written like poetry all over their faces as they looked into each other’s eyes, silently communicating their complete and utter adoration. She felt a painful hollowness well up inside of her as she watched her father kiss her mother thoughtfully on the forehead, then on the lips. They said their “I love you”s and covered themselves up with their blanket, holding each other close, as if there was still too much space in between their bodies.  

As their forms stilled, the hollowness consumed her, evolving into an achy loneliness that surfaced from the insecure child that forever lurked beneath her sturdy exterior. She swiftly turned her back to her parents, closed her eyes tightly and hugged her blanket close as she tried to swallow the sadness that threatened to spill from her eyes. 

She couldn’t help but wonder what her life would have been like if her parents never let her go; if she was able to witness just how much one person could _truly_ love another, would she be different? Would she have built these walls surrounding her heart that were nearly impenetrable? What would it have been like to have two people tuck her in every night, read her bedtime stories until their voices croaked, kiss her tears away and comfort her while she cried, or hold her hand as she learned to overcome her fears? What would it have been like to have a home that she could always call her own? Who would she be today if she grew up with parents who told her they loved her every day, and did so unconditionally?

Tears escaped the corners of her eyes as she pondered the what-ifs, forming a pool on her makeshift pillow. She knew it was a waste of time to regret her past, but seeing her parents today as she would have seen them as a child was heart-wrenching. 

They were the parents she had day-dreamed about when escaping the reality of her situation in the foster homes; where she would imagine she was a princess in a faraway land with parents that _never_ hit their children because they loved them too much to hurt them. It never occurred to her that her day-dream could have been a reality. The irony made her laugh cynically to herself. _‘I was a princess all along.’_

As she thought of her childhood, her mind wandered to Henry. In her heart of hearts, she was glad that Regina found her son and was able to give him what she couldn’t; a mother and a stable home-life. But she made a promise to herself; she would not leave him subject to her same fate on Neverland. She would never leave him. Not again. Never again.

And with that, her thoughts lulled her to sleep.

_….._

_She was in the jungle, completely surrounded by trees, brush, and vines. She turned, searching to find a way through, but the walls of vegetation were thick with no visibility of the other side. She reached for her sword and grasped nothing but air._

_“Mom!!!”_

_Panic devoured her as she heard him screaming. ‘I’ve got to find a way through.’ she thought desperately. “Henry!! Henry, I’m coming!!” She ran towards the vegetation and frantically tried to push her way through, tearing the branches and vines with her hands the best should could with no weapons at her disposal. Her flesh was torn and bleeding, but she didn’t care. She needed to get to her son._

_“Mom!!! Emma!!! Please hurry!!!!!”_

_“Henry!!! Hold on!! I’m coming!! Just hold on!!!” She cried, tears streaming down her face as she tried to break through the foliage. But the more she struggled, the more the plants surrounding her seemed to grow, cutting into her skin as the blood flowed freely down her limbs._

_“Henry!” She screamed hysterically as her vision started to blur and the pain from her wounds grew unbearable. The vines and thorns continued to grow, ripping her flesh and restricting her movements. She grew weaker, unable to struggle any longer despite her best efforts._

_She was going to die. She was going to die trying to save her son. She failed. She failed him and everyone else. All she could do now was wait, wait to succumb to her injuries._

_“MOM!! He’s hurting me!!! Please!!!”_

_“I’m sorry, Henry. I’m sorry I failed you.” She sobbed weakly as everything turned to black. She heard an ear-piercing scream…and then silence._

_…………._

Emma bolted awake, breathing rapidly as the dream realm subsided. She looked at her hands and patted down her arms hastily as she checked for plants or cuts, still feeling the constrictive and painful properties of her nightmare. 

_‘It was just a dream,”_ She reminded herself over and over again as her lungs and limbs welcomed the freedom. _‘Just a dream.’_

As her breathing slowed to a steady pace, she examined the others to see if she had awaken them. Charming was still holding Snow as they slept soundly and Neal was snoring loudly, confirming his deep slumber to all within a radius of a mile. Hook…

Where was Hook?

She started to panic as her eyes anxiously searched the campground to find any sign of where he’d gone. There was no mat, no pack; nothing of his was at the campground. She searched the outskirts of their site, and felt relief immediately wash over her when she spotted a tiny flicker of fire in the distance. Unsure of who or what caused the fire, she grabbed her sword to be cautious and silently walked towards it.

As she got closer, she saw Hook’s face illuminated by the glow of the firelight and what looked like a bottle of rum turning in his hands as he stared into the flames. She sheathed her sword and walked towards him, but stopped when she got close to enough to see his face, realizing she had never really seen Hook so pensive and unguarded. She tilted her head and marinated in the vision, feeling a little guilty that she was invading a private moment, but too curious to look away. 

“Getting a good look, love?” Hook asked, awaking Emma from her daze as he turned his face towards her. 

Emma felt her cheeks flush, feeling grateful for the veil of the night. “Sorry, I was just, um—“She tried to come up with a good excuse for her intrusion, but words escaped her.

“It’s all right, Swan. I realize it’s hard to ignore my dashing good looks.” He grinned boyishly and raised an eyebrow as he stood up, causing Emma to roll her eyes. “Care to join me?” He asked as he grabbed his coat and set it on the ground across from him, gesturing her to sit.  

Emma took him up on his invitation and sat on the coat as she brought her knees to her chest, hugging them closely. “So, what are you doing over here?” she asked.

“Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to wake the others.” He replied as he sat back down on his mat, leaning up against a tree while crossing his ankles. “And how about you?”

“Same. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Bad dream?” Hook prodded. 

“Something like that.” Emma dropped her knees into a cross-legged position and grabbed a nearby stick, poking the fire with it in one hand while propping her head up with the other.

“Aye, this place will do that to you. Do you want to talk about it?” Hook asked as he took a drink of his rum and then offered it to her. She obliged, handing the bottle back to him when she was done. She shook her head. “No, not really.”

“Fair enough.”

They both sat in silence, stealing glances at each other, but retreating their eyes back to the flames when they caught each other’s glimpses. 

“Hook—“

“Emma—“

They both started at the same time and smiled at the awkwardness.

“Ladies first.” Hook said teasingly, bending slightly into a mock bow. 

“I was just going to say…” she paused. She needed him to know, but she didn’t know how to say it; she wasn’t used to explaining herself to anyone. So she hesitated, dropping her chin down towards her chest and looking up with just her eyes.“…I’m sorry.” She noticed a hint of hurt in Hook’s eyes which he recovered almost instantly. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, love.” Hook replied imperviously.  

“Yes. Yes there is.” She said as she peeled away the bark on her twig. “What you saw…with Neal. It’s not…it’s not what you think it was.”

Hook felt a surge of hope rise in his chest and fixed his eyes on Emma’s face, trying to read her expression. Why was she telling him this? What was it that he saw? But he could tell by the nervous shaking of her hands as she tore the stick to bits that this was taking a toll. “Look, Emma, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain—“

“Will you please just shut up so I can say this?” Emma threw her battered stick into the fire and stood up with her back to Hook as she slid her hands into her pockets. “I thought Neal was dead. He was shot and then fell into that portal. I thought…I thought I would never see him again.” She took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the sky. “And then there he was. Out of nowhere. Alive. The next thing I knew he was hugging me… At first I didn’t believe it was him. I thought it was a trick Pan was playing on me. But, everything about him felt real; his smell, his warmth, he was everything I remembered. And he knew things that I only ever said to…Neal. So it had to be him, right?” 

She paused and rubbed the goose bumps her arms, realizing the air away from the campfire was quite cool. She heard some movement behind her, but didn’t turn to observe the source. It wasn’t long before she felt something weighted being draped across her shoulders, warming her instantly. She reached to pull the material more closely around her and realized it was Hook’s leather jacket. She turned around to thank him and collided into his hard body, not realizing how close he was in proximity to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and steadied her.

“Whoa whoa whoa. You alright?” He asked as he released his grip. 

“F—fine.” Emma stuttered, realizing how good he smelled, and suddenly feeling self-conscious about her own scent. 

Hook eyed her up and down and raised his brow. “Looks quite striking on you, Emma.” He assessed. He slowly and deliberately started brushing the dirt from his jacket off her shoulders, his face further closing the gap between them until it was within inches of hers. He traced the collar of his jacket, gently fixing it so it lay evenly against her throat, taking his time as the warmth of his hand brushed against her skin.

Emma felt her stomach do a flip, her pulse escalated as heat spread from her chest down her middle, making her knees quiver and her limbs numb with anticipation. She looked into his face, their eyes meeting, their gazes unwavering. His touch was electric, his scent intoxicating. She glanced at his lips and reflexively licked her own, slightly parting them as she eagerly awaited his next move. 

A  flood of disappointment washed over her as he wrenched his gaze from hers and turned around, adding a few more pieces of wood to the fire. She realized she was holding her breath and exhaled slowly to gather her wits. “Thank you.” Emma said finally as she watched him return to his seat cross-legged. 

He nodded his head in acknowledgement. “You’re most certainly welcome, love. Please. Continue.”

“Continue?... Oh, right.” Emma said as she folded her arms in front of her. “Where was I?”

“You figured out Neal was really Neal.”

“Right.” She tried to recall the not-so-distant memory, but the realization of how comfortable and excited she was with Hook’s closeness was distracting. Instead she thought back to their kiss, hers and Hook’s. It was as if they had kissed a hundred times before; the rhythm of their lips perfectly in sync, his tongue penetrating her mouth in flawless doses, the movement of their heads seamlessly making room for their growing intensity. She wasn’t sure how she was able to break the kiss then, but she knew she wanted more.

“Emma?” Hook asked, breaking her from her trance.

“Sorry. Right. Neal.” She shifted her weight uncomfortably and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“It’s alright, love, if you don’t want to talk about it…”

“I _do_ want to talk about it. I was just thinking of…” She looked down at him. “…something else.” She walked towards him and motioned towards a spot on the mat beside his pillow. He nodded his head in consent.

Emma sat down next to him and hugged her knees close to her chest so she could rest her head on them, pointing her face towards his. She studied his profile, appreciating how ruggedly handsome he was. She wondered how he could smell _so good_ when they had been here for five days in the sweltering heat and he’d been all clad in leather. She pushed her thoughts aside and focused on the task at hand…though, she wasn’t quite sure what her motive was behind telling him. She just knew it felt like the right thing to do. “He kissed _me_ , Hook. I didn’t kiss him back. I didn’t have time to react before you showed up…”

Hook’s face went through a wave of emotions and landed on confused. “And how would you have reacted had I not shown up?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. I’d like to think I’m not the type of person that kisses two different guys within minutes of each other. If you hadn’t showed up, I’d like to think I would have backed away, possibly violently.” 

Hook laughed and said, “What I wouldn’t have given to see that happen.”

Emma smiled and joined in his infectious laughter, feeling overcome with just how easy it was to laugh around him. “You know what I just realized?”

“What’s that?” Hook asked as he met her eyes. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before.”

Hook’s face turned serious. “Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Emma.”

“There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, Hook.”

“I know what matters.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“You’re a very strong, intelligent, and capable woman who will stop at nothing to protect the ones she loves.”

Emma looked down at the ground and hugged her arms close to her body, avoiding his penetrating gaze. “How can you be so sure?”

Hook reached his hand over and gently un-tucked her golden locks from the confines of his jacket.  “Because since I’ve known you, you’ve had a multitude of daunting obstacles thrown your way and I’ve yet to see you fail at anything.” 

Emma didn’t know how to reply, experiencing a mixture of both delight and uncertainty at his compliment. For all the time they had spent together in the last few days, Hook was still an unknown to her; a stranger. She knew he was genuine in his feelings, but that thought scared her more than if he was lying. 

“I, um. I really don’t know what to say. But, thanks.” 

“No thanks necessary, lass. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.”

“You know what I think, Hook?”

“I’m not sure what the odds of that are.” Hook teased followed by a light punch on the arm from Emma. He chuckled and feigned injury as he rubbed his arm. “Okay okay, sorry, just what do you think, Swan?”

Emma looked him straight in the eyes and leaned toward him. “You’re not the villainous pirate you want everyone to think you are. Deep down, you’re a hero, which you’ve shown us time and again since you’ve been here. I think you just forgot how to be one for a while.”

Hook looked to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair, visibly moved by what she said. “So you don’t think I’m just a pirate, then?”

“I don’t.” 

Hook couldn’t even say thank you, he was afraid in doing so he’d reveal the tightness that welled up in his throat. Instead, he just nodded his head in acknowledgment and turned his gaze towards the flames.

Emma lowered her knees into a cross-legged position, touching her knee to Hook’s, and found another stick on the ground to tear apart. When she had a nice pile of kindling, she propped her head up on her hand and slowly threw each piece individually into the flames, mesmerized as she watched it reduced to ash. 

Hook looked down at their knees touching, electricity coursing through his veins. He wanted so badly to repeat the kiss they had shared earlier, but her words “one time thing” echoed in his brain, preventing him from acting on the desire. The last thing he wanted was to take advantage of her in her vulnerable state, or worse, have her regret the “impulsive” moment later. He feared she was already regretting their first kiss, and wouldn’t make a move until he was sure she felt the same way about him as he did her. Though, her declaration of “not kissing Neal back” was reassuring, he wasn’t quite sure what the motivation behind the announcement was…he had his theories, but wouldn’t act on them until he knew she was ready. And with her son still missing, now was most certainly not the time. 

Instead, he leaned back against the tree and straightened out his legs, putting enough distance between them that the temptation wouldn’t get the better of him, but still close enough that he could marinate in her beauty. From his viewpoint, he could make out the profile of her face as the flames danced across her high cheek bones and reflected like mirrors in her eyes. His heart ached for what she must be going through, but the resilience she contained, despite all of her misfortune, made it inflate with even more adoration. 

For most, the silence would have been awkward and uncomfortable. But for them, the peaceful quiet in each other’s company was welcomed after days of almost nonstop action and restless nights. There were no expectations, pressures or judgments between them, just Emma and Killian, raw and exposed. For once in what seemed like too long, they both felt at ease despite the imminent storm that brewed in the distance, and their shielded exteriors collapsed, allowing weariness to take hold of their eyes as they fell victim to sleep. 

 


End file.
